theworldofdreams.com

A Texan went to Chicago and thought he would buy a new "city" outfit. He went into Marshall Fields and when asked by a sweet young woman if she could help him, answered, "Yes ma'am, ya see, I'm from Texas and I want to buy a complete outfit."
Well, her eyes lit up as she asked, "Where he would like to start?"
"Well ma'am, how about a suit?"
"Yes sir, what size?"
"Size 53 ... tall, ma'am."
"Wow, that's really big."
"Yes ma'am, they really grow them big in Texas."
"What's next?" she asked.
He replied, "How about some shoes."
"What size?"
"Size 15 ... double D."
"Wow, that's really big!"
"Yes ma'am, they really grow them big in Texas."
"What's next?"
"Well, I reckon I'll need a shirt."
"Yes sir, what size?"
"Nineteen and a half ... 38," he replied.
"Wow, that's really big!"
"Yes ma'am, they really grow them big in Texas."
She virtually glowed as she asked, "Whew ... is there anything else I can do for you?"
"No ma'am , I reckon that will be all."
Well she tallied up his bill while the Texan was counting out his money. She asked, "Sir could I ask you a question?"
"Yes ma'am, I already know what it is and the answer is four inches."
She is astonished and blurts out, "Why, my boyfriend is bigger than that!"
Without so much as a stutter, the Texan replied, "Across ma'am?"

Lmao....i love being a Texan too....yeeeeehaaaaa!

lol, sounds a little too big

well, texans are of course famous for lying.

the leader of the lairs is of course George W. Bush.

Which in turn has lead to a new state motto, "Texas, home of the dishonest"

lmao nice simon

simon wrote:well, texans are of course famous for lying.

the leader of the lairs is of course George W. Bush.

Which in turn has lead to a new state motto, "Texas, home of the dishonest"

I will agree with the fact that G. W. Bush is a 1st rate liar. I do not agree with the fact that all Texans are liars. To say that I am dishonest because of where I live, just shows your ignorance. Also before you call names, maybe you should learn how to spell. May I suggest http://www.webster.com


Flanigan

P.S. Good Joke Azzo

Yeah, right. Just look at Hank Hill: he claims that propane is better than charcoal. Liars, all of them.

Drocket wrote:Yeah, right. Just look at Hank Hill: he claims that propane is better than charcoal. Liars, all of them.

:P

Charcoal is for rookies!

Flanigan, my spellin just flat out sucks, normaly i use word before i post, but i just done that on the fly.

Though it was done in good fun, of course if you're from texas you don't see that.

Sorta like the things that get said about democrats, if you are one it's not funny.

I am a Texan, but I didn't think it was funny from any perspective. I was not insulted by it or anything like that though.

Now that cuts it, you can talk trash about a lot of things, but not TEXAS! King George is a disgrace to TEXAS. As the Dixie Chicks, who btw are from TEXAS, put it, he makes us ashamed. Yes I know they said it a bit different but the sentement is the same. And as for lying, we don't lie, we are proud story tellers. Rumor has it everyone in TEXAS voted for the turnip just to get him out of TEXAS. I will give him what little props he has coming though as he did clear out more beds in prison than anyone else I know by actualy following through with the death sentence inmates got for violent crimes. So unless ye want a mess of rednecks showin up to school ya on speakin right neighborly about us Texans, I suggest ye get the story straight. But not being a Texan, I will give you a handicap.

simon simon simon

What are you doing?

What were you thinking?

My God man have you totaly lost all sense of reality?

Haven't you ever heard the old saying.

Don't Mess With Texas


We have had a few bad seeds make Texas look bad, yes this is true.
And it's hard not to judge all by the few.
I will tell you this, one visit to Texas and you are hooked.
The people here are generous to a fault.
We are proud and protective of our own.
We may weave a tall tale or two, maybe stretch the truth a tad just for a little excitment.
But the root of it all is the truth.
Just because a few fools have shown what hind ends they are in public.
Doesn't make all Texans liars.
Now before you slap a lable on a whole state come see what it's all about first.
It's good music,good food, good fun and most of all Simon it's good people.

Eww I sound like a travel agent.

*Steps off the box*



~Bronwyn~

Well I would say Simon suffers from Chronic Foot if Mouth, but we all know it is more like Severe Ace Whole Syndrome.

Simon I would ask A favor of you.

Don't post Stuff just to piss pepole off!

There are better ways to say you hate Shrub.

Now, please crawl back in to the whole you have been hiding in these last few months.

didn't post to piss people off myr.

You speak of rednecks, i come from a long line of rednecks.

in the end though, i think this thread was all in good fun.

OK, I was gonna stay out of it, but I can't now. Calling George Bush a liar is a statement which has to be backed up with facts. Point out the 'lies' that make him a liar. In specifics, not generalities. Making such a bold-faced generalization without specific proof is one thing which is guaranteed to irritate me. (I know you are quaking in your boots there ) To call someone a 'liar' puts forth the impression that he does not tell the truth a majority of the time. By definition (liar: one who tells lies), actually one lie makes a person a liar, but I do not believe any person alive or dead could pass that standard. So by what standard are you terming him a liar? What percentage of his statments have to be false to put him into that category? Then statistically prove that he has made that number of false statements please!

If we want to talk about lying, the most recent example I can think of are both democrats. President Clinton lied about Monica Lewinsky (I know, its his personal business, but it DID happen in the oval office, so therefore becomes a public issue). Vice President Gore lied several times during his time in office, the funniest one being about having 'invented the internet.' Being a techie, and being around during those times, I found it real funny to find that little bit of information out, that no one else had known before!

Yes, I do believe that all presidents, alive and dead, have told a number of lies during their tenure as President, with a lot of them being security related. If we knew the truth about a lot of issues, we would find it hard to function normally as a cogent society with that knowledge.

If you are referring to the WMD issue, I still believe that we will eventually find there were some WMD's stockpiled by Iraq. If not within their country, then readily available from one of their neighbors. Why else would Saddam kick out all of the inspectors and rebel against the United Nations?

Anyway, I must admit I agree with Bush about 80-90% of the time, and as he is my neighbor here in Texas, I do feel obligated to defend him. I have met him, and feel that he is a 'real' person, who is concerned about this country, and has the moral stomach to stand up for what he believes in, unlike the current candidate for the Democratic nomination.

OK, let the flames begin! *Dons his plate armor of fire resistance*