Lecture 1
Penn Hedley III hunting lectures (Lecture 1)
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Penn-Hedley III Hunt Lectures
Lecture 1
Good Day. As you all know, this is the first in a series of lectures based on my hunting journals. The objective is to provide you all with a standard of excellence against which you can compare your own performance in the kingly sport of hunting. While the “Dungeon Diaries” by various –hrmph- authors are focused on gathering information on all of the PLACES in WoD, these lectures and the journals upon which they are based are focused on all of the CREATURES in the land. One similarity is that the eventual product of the process will be a comprehensive guidebook for the literate adventurer (should a second one ever show up here). The format will be largely narrative, but I will catalog each kill, assigning a “trophy number” to each new type of creature. I will carefully document the habitat, behavior, and loo- -er- -hrmph- the inventory of their probated estate.
Now, before we begin the first narrative, who can tell me what must be done PRIOR to the hunt? Northwhile?
Well, yes, Northwhile it IS important to –hrmph- “go” before starting a long trip, but that is not what I meant. I mean that you must be certain that you are properly equipped. Now, I do not have the talents, skills or attributes of someone like… that fellow Gomer Oldham, for example. I haven’t the strength to carry around plate armor and I lack in both combat and magical skills. I must survive largely on my wits, selecting the proper strategy for the situation at hand. As a result, I must be certain at all times that all of my options are open. That means I must have adequate supplies. My chainmail is in excellent condition (partly magically enhanced and partly Mayflower exceptional). I confirm adequate supplies of magical reagents, bandages, potions, kindling, food, and ammunition. My most important weapon is my favorite crossbow, which I call “Fenwyck” after my favorite elephant rifle back home. My magical pitchfork is for heavy-hitting, while my kryss works in concert with my shield when speed and sure contact is more important than “making great hulking holes in things.”
Now, where should I go for my first official hunt?
Sylvanis, that is a very rude thing to say! Further disrespect will get you sent to the headmaster. What you suggest should be put off for a future, more advanced hunt.
No, I happened to get a specific request from Mr. Oldham and Mr. Pinkwater. There is a magical item project of some kind under way, so they asked me to go after prey with lots of gems. Oldham suggests that, in the old days, that meant giants of various kinds. So I decided to hunt the area around the Yew Moongate, where I have noted a number of those gentlemen.
So, I start off heading generally East from the Yew moongate. I spot my first trophy after just a few steps and the battle is joined.
| 1. | Giant Spider: |
| Young adventures need to respect this beasts two threats- the spitting of webs and the poison bite. Its primary defense against hunters, however, is its truly awful loot. Chugging kegs of Greater Cure potions to | |
| get 5 spider silks is not sound business practice. Still, when there is a giant spider in the area, he usually insists on being killed, regardless of the inconvenience. | |
| After dispatching the spider, I advance only a few steps when I am suddenly accosted by a frenzied ostard an ogre lord and a reaper. I say, a bit embarrassing that. Homer specifically advised me to exclude ogre | |
| lords and titans from my target list of giants and to avoid reapers at all costs. I backed off and pondered this while dueling with the ostard. |
| 2. | Frenzied Ostard | ||
| - | |||
| bargain kill for the tailor, as well yielding 12 lovely green lizard hides with each kill. | |||
| While I was dispatching the ostard, an ettin wandered up. You would think that a creature with two giant heads would be dangerously smart, but this is not true. In parties in Nujel’m Roderick and Ciara often | |||
| serve ettin brains on toothpicks as appetizers (go with the shrimp). | |||
| 3. | Ettin | ||
| While killing the ettin, I was pestered by that pesky ogre lord vying for my attention. I got the ettin off to one side where we could have a private talk. Ettins make lousy wall trophies. It seems that, no | |||
| - | money. Before this hunt was over, I killed four ettins. They yielded up 126-153gp and 0-3 miscellaneous items each (including tools, potions, weapons and gems). |
Hrmph. So Homer thinks I can’t handle an Ogre Lord, eh. Arrogant colonials. We shall jolly-well see. Besides, if he is a Lord, he must be a peer of the realm. I’ve always found them to be fine fellows with impeccable manners. I decided to reason with the fellow. I would have to admit that negotiations did not go as well as I had hoped. Now, I cannot stand toe-to-toe and “slug it out” with an ogre lord. I last about 3 whacks. I have to make extensive use of the archery technique known as “kiting”. Ogres and ogre lords are not in the best of physical conditions. They are –hrmph- “husky” fellows and they have trouble keeping their baggy pants up, so they are not terribly swift in a footrace. I run away from the fellows as fast as I can and usually open a bit of distance between us. When I get enough distance, I crank up old Fenwyck and try to get a shot off before the brutes can get their chubby hands on me- then take off again. Now, Fenwyck is not as quick as Smudge or Homer’s bow, but it packs quite a “wallop”. After a few rounds of this, Mr. O. Lord was hurting. However, we were fighting in a bad neighborhood, so I was taking some “drive by” damage, as well. Moreover, I my healing and spell-casting seemed unusually sluggish and unreliable. I found myself at the Empath Abbey and decided a little prayer would not hurt my cause. Unfortunately, the Ogre Lord followed me inside. I led him upstairs. This worked very well. I played “tag” with him around the tables and finished him. My apologies to the monk who cleans up in there.
Ogre Lord
Believe it or not, this was just the first of two ogre lords I killed in the abbey on this hunt. Their loot consisted of 609-688gp and 4-6 items, including gems, armor, weapons, and potions (part of which was no doubt bullied from the poor ettins- but I could hardly return it to them, having killed all of them as well). As I turned from the massive ogre lord carcass, I found myself face-to-face with a much more ominous-looking foe. He was not as tall as the ogre lord, but nearly as balky, with fearsome, evil horns rising from his head. He did not attack me straight-on, but feigned indifference, moving to get behind me. No fool, I struck first, preempting his treachery…
Cow
The battle and the loot were somewhat disappointing after the ogre lord: 8 hides and 6 cuts of ribs. At that point, I realized I had forgotten something. Eating. I had not eaten before or during the trip and was in a starving condition throughout the battle with the ogre lord and the dreaded cow. Embarrassing, what? I had noticed another Ettin out the back window of the Abbey, so I hurried around the building to greet him. As I rounded the first corner, my nose slammed into a bony kneecap. I looked up to identify to whom to address my apology and saw I Had collided with a cyclops. He rudely dismissed my apology and demanded satisfaction for the affront.
Cyclops
Apart from the ocular disability, the cyclops differs from ettins and the ogre clan by being much better dressed. Their money would be better spent on combat lessons, as their military skills do not exceed those of their more slovenly relatives. The two cyclopses I ended up bagging had 258-288gp and three items each (food or weapon, reagent (executioner’s cap), gem). Once again, I no sooner disposed of this threat when I caught another sinister creature creeping up on me, pretending innocence.
Pig
Comparing the two opponents, I would have to say that, while the cyclops was much taller, the pig had better depth perception. He yielded a raw ham and two slabs of bacon. I found and killed the other ettin, then was attacked by an enemy springing from hiding, appearing from nowhere right next to me.
Mongbat
Not much to say about its fighting skills. I collected 62gp, a backmoor, and its two stubby batwings. Then…
Dire Wolf
Bad doggy! 4 hides, 4 ribs. Then a corpser jumped out in front of me and attacked. Unusual behavior in a plant. However, there was an oak tree between my estate in Essex and the local pub that often did that. Strangely, it never did it when I was headed TO the pub, though…
Corpser
Target practice. As I collected the 37gp and the brimstone, I was rudely interrupted by the second cyclops. I gave it a piece of my mind and a poke-in-the-eye-with-a-sharp-stick (my pitchfork, more precisely).
Deer
My apologies to the Queen. Science and all that. 6 hides, 6 meat. I was attacked from behind. I’ve often wondered if gazers have anything to do with cyclopses.
What do you think, Mr. Wode? Well, let’s TRY to stay awake, shall we? Just two weeks to exams, after all.
Gazer
Gazers are so dependent (dare I say “focused”) on their magic, I usually just face them keeping my magic reflection in place until they use up their mana. The two gazers I killed both had 4 nightshade and 3 bloodspawn plus and item (scroll or reagent) and 141-189gp.
You had a question, Antimony? Where does a gazer keep it’s money? What a FINE question. Did you sit up all ruddy night to think of that? Well. Ahem. You see, gazers are very vain about their appearances. I mean, “face” value is about all they have. However, it is very difficult to brush your teeth with no appendages, so their dental hygiene suffers. Gazer dentists, of course, use gold caps. See, simple as that. No, sorry we don’t have “follow-up questions” here.
Bull
Somewhat similar to the cow, yet somehow… beefier. 8 meat, 12 hides Then I heard an unearthly scream and saw a flurry coming at me through the tree.
Harpy
Fenwyck dropped the thing with one shot 10 paces before it got to me. The harpys checked so far yield 72-108gp with 20 feathers, 3 blackmoor and no items. And then…
Ogre
Once again, the difference between commoners and gentry is clearly demonstrated. Now, the astute among you- no I DON’T mean you, Wolfbane- may have wondered how I can tell the difference between ogres and ogre lords and how I know the names of the other creatures I have never seen before. My primary research source is “Beautiful Woodland Creatures of WoD” by Brother Ralph (as you, know, Brother Ralph had only completed the first three volumes when he was tragically eaten by the Beautiful Woodland Creatures of WoD and his work had to be completed by Brother Burger). I also get a surprising amount of help from “Imaginary Beasts” by Dr Ocket. Somehow, his “imagining” keep showing up and attacking people. At any rate, I have studied these works at length and am often able to recognize them on sight. In other cases, I make sketches and research them afterward. This is difficult. Fighting for your life, spellcasting, bandaging and whimpering are often quite enough to worry about without also trying to sketch a flattering portrait of your adversary. You really have to do it DURING the fight, however. Few creatures look their best after being pitchforked to death. Now, what was I saying? No, Banedon, I am quite certain it had nothing to do with dismissing the class. The two ogres I killed had 56-189 gp and 4-5 items (armor, weapons, potions, gems, misc. items).
Now, the other things Mr. Oldham told me to avoid were reapers. Finally, I found one so that I could ignore his advice.
Reaper
This was a pretty puny one. I had time to get my magic reflection up enough that only half of it’s spells worked. It’s best trick was conjuring blade spirits to chop at me, but they were pitiful things. I think the reaper got them from Ronco over the telly. They didn’t “slice and dice” anything. The reaper generously donated 129gp, 20 logs, 1 reaper heartwood, 3 deadwood, 1 executioner’s cap mushroom.
Wolf
Nothing like his cousin the dire wolf. I had to PICK a fight with it, and it was not much of a fight. 4 ribs 4 hides.
Goat
These fellows used to be my nemesis when I first arrived in WoD. Now Fenwyck takes them out in a single shot and they never even know they were under attack. 4 hides 4 meat. I killed another ettin and then found another bad doggy.
Rabid Dog
Two hides, two ribs. Then I searched for my 20th and final trophy for the hunt. Kept finding reruns. Harpy, ettin, gazer, rabid dog, ogre lord (finished him in the Abbey again, sorry Brothers), gazer, frenzied ostard, ogre (it is interesting to note that ogre treasure is almost as good as ogre lord treasure). Where was that last great kill to make the trip memorable? What the heck…
Llama
That racket they make is really bloody irritating, don’t you think? I should have killed it hours ago, 6 leather, 6 ribs.
That’s jolly well enough for today. For your homework assignment- kill something.
