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**Angel Magnus**


I stepped out of the Crossroads Pub only to feel myself falling the short distance from the threshold to the ground. Fortunately for me, my nose cushioned the fall. Hear the sarcasm there?

The problem, which still slightly plagues me as I write, is not lack of coordination for I am a very nimble woman. Oh no, the problem lies with my perpetual consumption of ale. The vile concoction has me under it's spell and I, being a mere mortal woman with weak mortal tendancies, must obey it's siren's call.

I somehow managed to feel my way to my steed. At least I think it was my steed. It was warm, soft and it let me ride it. Hmmm. Anyway, I decided that, given my current situation, I should head to my new residence in Jhelom post haste. I certainly wasn't in any condition to deliver packages or do jobs for the meager fees to which I've become accustomed.

Here I must take pause to laugh in junveile (and slightly inebriated) glee at the mental image of me riding wildly through the streets of Britain with a package under my arm shouting to all who would get in my way "Flee fellow citizens of Britannia for I, Angel the Alcoholic am in need of a VERY wide berth!"
Sobering thought. Just for future references, my "berth" is no more wide than any other woman's.

On with the tale! As I drunkenly dozed on my ever faithful steed (we're still in question as to the validity of that statement), the peculiar tinglin sensation that overcomes my person when I've passed through a gate overtook me. I mistakenly assumed that I had arrived at the correct moongate desination and sat up straight, all facilities in perfect working order! (Yeah right.) I rubbed my tired eyes and urged my mount(?)away from the moongate in the direction of home.

Now I, being a relatively new person to this wonderful world, have not encountered most of the creatures that call Britannia home. I am usually thankful for such ignorance.

I have learned my lesson well. People who maintain ignorance deliberately do not live very long.

As I traveled on I noticed a very large figure moving alongside me in the treeline. I could not see it very well because it was dark. Why didn't I use the miraculous mage spell of night vision? Simple. I ...don't ...know. It seemed just as simple to plow on through the darkness. The thought never occurred to me. Silly me.

Regardless, the figure was closing in and I finally caught a glimpse of it. It had two heads and a massive body and two heads and it stood upright and it had two heads! Did I mention that the creature had two heads?! Now being from another world, I've never encountered a creature with two heads. I assumed, (a thing I do far too often), that if the creature had two heads, it would have twice the intelligence, right? I raised my hand in the air and hailed the creature with a cheery smile plastered onto my inebriated face. I waved emphatically all the while calling out greetings and salutations. The creature lumbered toward me, I thought to return my greeting but nooooo! It lifted a gigantic fist and took a swing at my precious head!

Of course I did what any person would have done to save themselves, I drunkenly fell from my perch atop my steed. The creature reared back and took another swing at me and I hastily crawled under...the warm, soft thing that let me ride it.

My sluggish brain was desperately trying to kick in gear. Part of me told myself that it was a hallucination. People didn't have two heads nor were they that size. My other half screamed "It's a two headed monster! What do you need, a picture drawn?!" I wisely listened to the second half. I quickly climbed out from under my err...horse and crawled as fast as I could down the dark pathway that appeared to be a road. I staggered to my feet and fled in haste. I had no clue where I was nor where I was going. I only knew that I no longer wished to be in the company of two headed creatures. I put quite a bit of distance between myself and that horrible beast.

The many noises of the nocturnal forest life were normally quite disturbing but to a sodden person who wishes nothing more than sleep, they can easily be ignored. I found a very large tree and, after removing all six to eight legged critters, curled up in the exposed roots.

I awoke to a new morning. My head pounding and my mouth glued shut from the evening before's liquor binge. I yawned, stretched and was just about to get my bearings when I saw it come from behind the tree. A giant eyeball? Two headed creatures are one thing, giant eyeballs are quite another. I knew I must be hallucinating this time. I calmly stood, thinking perhaps if I ignored it, the hallucination would go away. Big mistake! I suddenly felt myself weaker, more tired and slightly less intelligent. (As if I had a stunning IQ before.) And yet again, I found myself struggling to get away from YET ANOTHER FREAK OF NATURE! I started running circles around the giant tree trying to throw off the...err...eye. After going arounnd several times it was momentarily, umm, disoriented, and I took my change to flee into the cover of the forest once again, hoping that eventually I'd stumble into some form of civilization.

Behold! A domicile! I saw the outline of a house with smoke issuing from the chimney. A clear indication that someone was, indeed, home. I giddily ran to the door, relief flooding my body at the prospect of finding another soul. I straightened my filthy dress, fluffed my disheveled hair and rapped smartly on the door.

"Go away!"

I blinked. Perhaps the dweller thought that I was someone he didn't wish to visit? I knocked again cleared my throat and announced myself.

"Greetings kind sir, my name is Angel Magnus and I fear I've lost my way. I've been accosted by..."


"%#@!*&%$%@!!"



Another blink. What a grumpy old man! I quickly fled the man's property. Obviously I was mistaken about reaching civilization.

I took the clear path in front of the grumpy man's home. As I traveled down the road and read the signs, I realized that I was very lucky that he'd only spouted foul words at me.

The more I trudged on, the crankier I got. Now I love me and I'm my own biggest fant but when I get cranky, I don't even like me. Fortunately, the road led to a farmhouse where a kind woman was nice enough to give me directions to the local abby for assistance.


I found my way there with little difficulty and, upon entry, was immediately accosted with pleasant greetings and wise little tid bits of advice. Those monks sure know how to make a person feel welcome! After cleaning myself up, I told them the whole sordid tale over a nice, steaming bowl of venison stew.

Although I sensed disapproval in MOST of their eyes as I recounted how I had gotten in such a predicament, they still had nothing but kind, soothing words for me.


One of the monks suggested that I take advantage of the library upstairs during my visit to familiarize myself with the region's infamous inhabitants, which I did. While perusing the shelves I came upon several blank journals, a full ink well and a pen so here I am, retelling my story for you. I like the abby but I must admit, the monks are a little on the ceepy side. They are incredibly repetative and one even offered to take me to his room to show me his "ankh". Not sure what that is and I'm pretty sure I don't wanna know.

In short, moral of the story. Don't drink. Drinking makes you ride things you normally wouldn't ride and go places you normally wouldn't go which can only lead to trouble or in the very least, get you stuck in a monestary.





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A tale with a moral! I imagine that's healthily welcomed here in WoD.

Again, another excellent story. I admire the way you have that "I'll read just a bit more" element to your stories. Well done!

-M

Wow, that was a harrowing tale! I sometimes see two headed people when I have had too much ale also ...and double doors and double horsies and I vaguely remember a woman with quadruple...umm, well anyway I am sorry about your nose, it isn't too squashed is it? And, for future reference I'll remember your, umm, berth. Anyway, I wonder if monastaries play Paul Anka songs?

Very well written story and I liked it very much.
You have a nack there hope to read more of your work
m'lady*bows*
*claps softly*

Great story keep them coming.