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HOME REMEDIES

1. If you are choking on an ice cube, don't panic, simply pour a
cup of boiling water down your throat and, presto! the blockage
will be almost removed.

2 Clumsy? Avoid cutting yourself while slicing vegetables by
getting someone else to hold them while you chop away.

3. Avoid arguments with the missus about lifting the toilet seat
by simply peeing in the sink.

4. High blood pressure sufferers: simply cut yourself and bleed
for a while, thus reducing the pressure in your veins.

5. A mousetrap placed on top of your alarm clock will prevent
you from rolling over and going back to sleep when you hit the
snooze button.

6. If you have a bad cough, take a large dose of laxatives, then
you will be afraid of coughing.

7. Have a bad toothache? Hit your thumb with a hammer, then you
will forget about the toothache.

Sometimes we just need to remember what the rules of life really
are:

You need only two tools: WD-40 and DUCT TAPE. If it doesn't move
and it should, use WD-40. If it moves and IT shouldn't, use DUCT
TAPE.

Everyone seems normal until you get to know them.

Never pass up an opportunity to potty.

If you woke up breathing, Congratulations!! You have another
chance!!

AND FINALLY: Be really good to your family and friends! You
never know when you are going to need them to empty your
bedpan!!

Nichi Ko wrote:3. Avoid arguments with the missus about lifting the toilet seat
by simply peeing in the sink.

Makes sense to me. Saves time too. Better yet, just step outside.

Nichi Ko wrote:5. A mousetrap placed on top of your alarm clock will prevent
you from rolling over and going back to sleep when you hit the
snooze button.

This WORKS! Honest.

Nichi Ko wrote:6. If you have a bad cough, take a large dose of laxatives, then
you will be afraid of coughing.

I'm embarrassed that this was my favorite one.

Mine to Bayn, I actually laughed out loud and thats rarety with jokes. I usually just smile