Steve Irwin: Croc Hunter
*dives through the tall grass*
"Woo! I got one! E's a beaut aint e! Look at the mahkings, just gorgeous! Now this little guy, he's a North Britain Newbie Killer. Extremely poisonous! One bite from this guy and it's all over!"
*snake wiggles and goes for Steve's nose*
"Whoa! Didya see that! It's okay little fella, I ain't gonna hurtya."
*squeezes snake behind the head to open it's mouth, snake looks extremely upset by this, and wiggles around fiercely*
"Now here we see his teeth. He uses these huge long fangs to tear through thigh boots, even studded leather, and sometimes even platemail! During mating season the adult male..."
*turns snake over and pokes at its belly*
"Now wait a second, it's very difficult to tell the difference between boy snakes and girl snakes. First you have to..."
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"Ow! Crikeys! He got me!"
*snake is hanging from Steve's face with its fangs embedded in his left nostril*
*Steve less than gently pries the snake off his nose*
*the camera comes in for a closup of Steve's bloody nostril*
"Oh, that really hurts!"
*Steve's wife narrates: "Steve has been bitten by one of Britain's deadliest reptiles. Luckily, Steve has been bitten so many times by these snakes, that his blood has become a powerful anti-venom, and the main ingredient in greater cure potions. A bite like this would have killed any other man by now, but Steve will just become disoriented."*
"We'll just release the little guy back into the wild."
*Steve carefully places the snake back down on the edge of some tall grass and jumps backwards away as he releases it.*
*Steve smiles at the camera for another closeup of his bloody face.*
"Wow. He was a fiesty one!"
*Steve wipes the blood off his nose, smearing it up his arm.*
"Let's go find another one!"
*Quick edit: Now Steve is surrounded by sand and cacti*
"Now here in the desert surrounding the Compassion Shrine, we can see some very large rock and fire lizards. Beautiful creatures, very dangerous!"
*Steve looks behind him as the camera focuses on a fire lizard, minding its own business*
*Steve takes off at a run and begins to chase the creature*
*The fire lizard, normally a dangerously aggressive reptile sees Steve and gets a look in his eye like "Oh no! Not that guy again!" and runs like heck!*
*Steve takes a flying leap, tackling the lizard, rolls over a few times in the sand and briefly disappears in a fireball.*
*The camera zooms in for a closeup, as Steve emerges with his arms full of struggling fire lizard. Steve's body is blackened with soot, his shorts are on fire, and his hair is smoking.*
"Woo! I got one! E's a beaut aint e! Look at the mahkings, just gorgeous!"
