Steve Irwin: Croc Hunter

*dives through the tall grass*

"Woo! I got one! E's a beaut aint e! Look at the mahkings, just gorgeous! Now this little guy, he's a North Britain Newbie Killer. Extremely poisonous! One bite from this guy and it's all over!"

*snake wiggles and goes for Steve's nose*

"Whoa! Didya see that! It's okay little fella, I ain't gonna hurtya."

*squeezes snake behind the head to open it's mouth, snake looks extremely upset by this, and wiggles around fiercely*

"Now here we see his teeth. He uses these huge long fangs to tear through thigh boots, even studded leather, and sometimes even platemail! During mating season the adult male..."

*turns snake over and pokes at its belly*

"Now wait a second, it's very difficult to tell the difference between boy snakes and girl snakes. First you have to..."

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"Ow! Crikeys! He got me!"

*snake is hanging from Steve's face with its fangs embedded in his left nostril*

*Steve less than gently pries the snake off his nose*

*the camera comes in for a closup of Steve's bloody nostril*

"Oh, that really hurts!"

*Steve's wife narrates: "Steve has been bitten by one of Britain's deadliest reptiles. Luckily, Steve has been bitten so many times by these snakes, that his blood has become a powerful anti-venom, and the main ingredient in greater cure potions. A bite like this would have killed any other man by now, but Steve will just become disoriented."*

"We'll just release the little guy back into the wild."

*Steve carefully places the snake back down on the edge of some tall grass and jumps backwards away as he releases it.*

*Steve smiles at the camera for another closeup of his bloody face.*

"Wow. He was a fiesty one!"

*Steve wipes the blood off his nose, smearing it up his arm.*

"Let's go find another one!"

*Quick edit: Now Steve is surrounded by sand and cacti*

"Now here in the desert surrounding the Compassion Shrine, we can see some very large rock and fire lizards. Beautiful creatures, very dangerous!"

*Steve looks behind him as the camera focuses on a fire lizard, minding its own business*

*Steve takes off at a run and begins to chase the creature*

*The fire lizard, normally a dangerously aggressive reptile sees Steve and gets a look in his eye like "Oh no! Not that guy again!" and runs like heck!*

*Steve takes a flying leap, tackling the lizard, rolls over a few times in the sand and briefly disappears in a fireball.*

*The camera zooms in for a closeup, as Steve emerges with his arms full of struggling fire lizard. Steve's body is blackened with soot, his shorts are on fire, and his hair is smoking.*

"Woo! I got one! E's a beaut aint e! Look at the mahkings, just gorgeous!"

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