theworldofdreams.com

Notice: This posting is rated NO Nu-B (Players under 3 months in the game not allowed to read past this point)

Sometimes, veterans who train newbies in the game tell them too much. There are things that players should get to learn for themselves because the shock and surprise value are a big part of the fun. Now, I am not talking about concealing important facts such as “wisps are not Wodian firefliesâ€

Homer,

Do you mean to imply the 'secret nature of newbies' is a positive or negative thing?

- M

Well, my friend, the "secret nature of newbies" as not listening to advice is something we storytellers sometimes refer to as a "joke", which in turn does not "imply" anything except an underlying assumption that both writer and reader have a sense of humor. That particular joke was inserted in order to perform a little story-telling trick that puts a premise of some kind at the front of the story and then refer back to it at the end, giving the illusion that the story had some kind of point, which is usually (and in this case certainly) untrue.
However, if one were to insist on disecting that reference for some reason, one would have to say that a "secret nature" is neutral- neither bad nor good- just the way things are. However, I had earlier suggested that the "secret natures" of doppelgangers and daemon spawn are wonderful treasures, at least from the perspective of players experiencing them for the first time. I guess maybe that would mean that some other type of secret nature might be unwonderful from some other perspective, but there is no content in my little story that would shed any light on further details.
"Newbies" are, of course, not a class of people, but rather are people at a stage of development through which all people pass. I imply that when folks are new, they don't listen to advice. If anyone bothered to ask me, I would say that "oldbies" are even less likely to listen. But that would be an entirely different joke.

Greetings Homer,
I have found that the classification follows a path that returns to it's source, or original position. As many of life’s critters do, most characters come full circle and become "Perma-Newbs". I find it starts at the beginning, as many things do, with the arrival of a newcomer. This newcomer finds him or herself with the new distinction of "newby", As progress is made and lessons learned, (not that this is always the case mind you, but then as you stated before, this leads to an entirely different subject), a new title is bestowed, more of a lack of a title actually, it comes in the form of a reference phrase "still sorta newby". The next level of evolution comes when the person, male or female decides that the rectal sphincter is no longer a good place to keep ones breathing apparatus stored and removes most if not a great deal of their head from that region. Now mind you many times the part left in gets in control and reminds the "still sorta newby" person that they have lessons to learn, thereby allowing the title to make sense. The next level of evolution comes when the removal is complete, and the popping sound is heard from the extraction. This is generally a good thing and has been proven to allow many people to remove their flame retarding underwear due to the lack of flaming responses from actions on their part. Now mind you this class has a distinction similar to that of a soldier fresh out of basic training. They have most of their faculties, they know more or less how to keep themselves out of trouble, (though an alarming rate of them choose not to do so, but again, that is another subject) and are capable of working WITH the system. For lack of a better term, though should anyone have something colorful or fitting suggestions are welcome provided the proper forms are filled out in quintiplicate, and approved by the Queen, we will call them "the regulars". Now the "regulars" are a special class mind you, they do their own thing learning more lessons, trying more things as they have found some of their actions bring good fortune and some bad, but they apply that knowledge, for the most part in a decent enough manner. As these "regulars" progress they move into the new and exciting realm of "older player" though slower for some and others whizz right past it. In this stage they tend to, for the most part mind you, be helpful, and considerate, or complete loaners. This stage is an interesting one in the sense that it allows others to see which path that person will follow next. The next possible evolutionary stages are, though not limited to, "Oldbie" and "Perma-Newb".
The fine line of distinction often wavers between these two and it is also rumored that they are one in the same. It is often said that, the term, "Perma-Newb" is used by one "Oldbie" or another to affectionately refer to another "Oldbie". But now, I will attempt to explain the variations that define either class but the blurry line sometimes is difficult at best to tell the difference between. "Oldbie", now these are the people at the stage of existence that are for the most part revered, and respected not only for their time in game but their knowledge of workings within the realms. One can almost certainly rely on the fact that if asked, an "Oldbie" will make every reasonable attempt to assist and the assistance most likely will be helpful. An "Oldbie" has hints, useful items on hand, rarely gets caught with his or her pants down in any situation, (though it does happen on occasion but with less and less frequency) and will most readily come and provide a stable rescue without looting you dry needlessly. Many things that apply to the "Oldbie" also apply to the "Perma-Newb". These folk tend to be more carefree and reckless than the "Oldbie" but that does not mean they are unaware of the same knowledge or wisdom the "Oldbie's" possess, it simply means they might know it but don't show it so to speak. A "Perma-Newb" is quite possibly the final stage of "Oldbie" coupled with senility. It has never been proven one way or the other, and remains a mystery to this day. "Perma-Newbs" tend to show many of the traits they worked so hard to cull in an attempt to become "non-newby", but now they do so with the gusto and bravado of an impish fop who has lost his or her senses, and disregards what they know they should do and follows the path of recklessness and abandonment in the attempt to provide some new (actually old and missed) thrill. Forgetfulness often accompanies them, as they have not checked their regs or their potions in ages, they may or may not have had their armor repaired and could be naked at anytime. The latter is rather humorous though does lead to a lot of "OooOoOoooooOO'ing". As many know "Perma-Newbs" are for the most part as reliable as "Oldbie’s" but generally only in regards to lending a hand, and then it can lead to interesting results depending on which side of the writing one is on, meaning the writer of the tale or the reader. One reading the tale may say, "it seemed to me that Gladtonious XXXXX while reckless and wild, did rescue Protonboy from the dreaded daemon, but ended up needing a rescue of sorts in the form of a gate out of the area". The writer of the tale, Gladtonious, on the other hand may tell the tale as if it were almost as nightmarish as the initial circumstance due to the fact that while waiting for the gate the area was filled with avenging monsters hell bent on making the two pay for killing their brethren. Either way they made it out, though not quite as often as not they end up calling from the same spot asking for a second group. "Perma-Newbs" have a few interesting traits that help others identify when the behavior that inevitably shows up defining them as such will surface, it usually follows such phrases as "hehe, watch this", or "I gotta try this wanna come with?" Should you hear either of these phrases be sure to be prepared for disaster and also make sure you are not drinking anything at the time of the "happening" as it may result in whatever you are attempting to consume reversing course and following a different exit path than it was intended exit with. I will close with this statement, and please take it with a grain of salt, sugar or whatever condiment you personally enjoy more. All of this is subject to a great many variable and is not limited to the above definitions. This was provided to attempt (though a feeble one) to aid those who wonder about the labels and classifications given out by a great many people.

Personally I have some things to try, anyone wanna watch?

But what about us "idjits?"

They are kinda like elves. They really don't exist, but some people portray them while others around think they are silly. In the event someone should meet either an idjit or an elf, just nod and mumble something about the queen needing to institute a few mental institutions. Though I only hope you visit both Homer and I after they lock us up.