by Homer on Mon Jan 26, 2004 4:06 am
"Hoo boy, I lost count big time. (Obituaries) #2079 to about #2087" Posted by Homer on 08-18-00, 11:37 PM (CST)
Yeah, that's about right. 9 lives. A catsworth in one night. A lifetime on Ackadia. Poof.
Dagnab Praetorians.
Consarned Brutus Maximus.
Okay, disclaimer time. I played this quest for about 8 hours. People came, people went. I got tired. Now, I usually do a pretty good job of keeping track of the people I play with when or before I die. I even take notes. But this time I kinda lost it. Here is the best I can do for a list- the folks I leave out (or hallucinated) please speak up:
Folks I am pretty sure were there:
Warren N.
Fate
Cable
Cormyr
Elandra Silvanus
Roderick
Mordrid
Spring
Segovia
Folks I think were probably there:
Lara
Magus
Fletch
Gzi Dragon
Xor
Wolfwalker
Ciara
I deeply apologize for the errors.
Pinkwater was minding his own disgusting business when he noted the death-cry of Fate and offered his condolences and solicited organ donations. He was told there was a great surplus of dead bodies of all kinds in Vesper, due to an invasion of some kind of mutant Roman soldiers. It broke poor Pinkwater's heart (which he repaired with a stapler) that he could not go, as he was flat broke and out of mandrake root and doing odd .jobs to raise reg money. It did not sound like the kind of event a mage should go to without mandrake root.
Well, SOMEBODY had to go. We couldn't allow ourselves to be conquered by ITALIANS, for crying out loud. I mean, how would you like having 15 more political parties with their conventions screwing up primetime TV or having to pay 5 million lira for a Big Mac or (worst of all) having our pizza Italianized? If Vesper fell, it would only be a matter of time before they tore out all the bridges in favor of boats with singing tillermen in funny hats. So who gets the assignment? It's dangerous, right? Who who who. It's really important, right? So who who who. A person could get KILLED, right. Oh I know, I know..
...and so it was I, Homer Oldham, who set out alone to rescue the city of Vesper from the Evil Italian Empire. I talked to Warren N. a bit as I prepared and found out that a note had been found and that over half the city had already fallen under the Guicci heel. He offered me a gate to the rally point of the defenders, but I figured I would be a more picturesque cavalry-to-the-rescue from further away (if I- you know- had a horse or something). I gated into the Mint, hoping I could prevent the absorption of the WoD gold piece into the Euro. There were no Praetorians in the immediate vicinity, but I took the body of the town crier lying in the middle of the street to be a bad omen, if not ironic (NOW you got something to CRY about!).
Immediately across the bridge to the East, I found my first Praetorians, a pair of archers with bows that somehow flung flaming meatballs at you spicy ones that really give you heartburn. I lured one onto the island I was on and killed it after an epic struggle. Then the other. Then a plain-old vanilla Praetorian. Then a Praetorian Battle Mage. Then a Praetorian Captain. Praetorian by Praetorian, island by island, rolaid by rolaid I fought my through the city. Then, ahead of me, I heard familiar voices not speaking a romance language. I broke through and joined up with the other courageous defenders manning the dikes against the pesto tidal wave.
Now, those of you scoring at home may have noticed that, by this point in time, I hadn't died yet. It didn't take long once I joined up with the others, though. Five minutes later and I was pale as pasta. They cheerfully resurrected me promptly, however, so that I would have the honor of dying again. It was great fun while it lasted, though, and we generally kicked the pepperoni outta the invaders. Then, suddenly, I looked around and found I was alone again. I never did figure out where everyone went. Now solo-mioing again, I went back to my divide-and-conquer strategy, killing the Praetorians one-by-one and staying alive. After a while I was joined by Cable. We fought well together, although since I had company I died a couple of times more. We were joined by some stout comrades as we reached the dock. There was a nasty latin mob there and we took turns dying before we cleared it away.
During this time, I had a little side adventure. I was fleeing like a screaming banshee from island to island pursued by a Praetorian Captain (nothing odd up to that point- I did a lot of that). Suddenly, this brave sleepwalking knight named Shara galloped up with an "Aha!" and attacked the Captain. I stepped back to admire her work and then whipped out my bow, Smudge style, to support her. She was losing ground though, so I decided to become a mage. I healed her for a while, but we were still losing ground and it was clear her life was in danger. So I saved her life by tossing a little poison spell on the Captain. How does she show her gratitude? She gets all huffy about the poison spells and starts screaming that I am some kind of criminal and not welcome in this town (the Praetorians had already made that rather clear). Then she attacks me, ignoring the Praetorian Captain. I didn't want to fight her, of course, so I ran away, chased by Shara chased by the Praetorian Captain. Then a guard sees her whacking my backside as I am fleeing her in terror and immediately concludes I must be some kind of serial rapist attempting to overpower her
and HE labels me a criminal and joins the chase. Finally, I managed to lock Shara and her horse in the back room of some shop and get back to the war.
We were soon joined by the dock by an auspicious new group (including Spring) and resumed our island-hopping attack through the city. We eliminated all of the Praetorians we could find except for a stubborn crowd (including a General) who had barracaded themselves on an undeveloped island not connected to the others. We whittled the group down a bit with archery, then an invasion force loaded up on a boat and attacked. Warren N. and I were left behind for a few minutes, but we finally got to the island. There was a portal there, clearly the one mentioned in the note. Everyone was just standing around looking at it. I suppose someone was making a plan or something, but they didn't give any indication, so I decided to scout ahead. I would jump through the portal, jump back and tell them what I learned. So I jumped through, died, jumped out and said "ooo". If I could have spoken more clearly, my report would have been "It is dark in there and hurts a lot." Eventually we got through and I got most of my stuff, although I lost my bow. Elandra was able to survive on the other side much longer than I was and eventually some of the others got through and cleared the area around the portal and turned on the lights. We were in a place that in another world and time might have been called "The Gates to Delucia." We took control of the building and then began taking real estate foot by costly foot. I died a couple of times more. At one point, all of my stuff was gone and I was fighting with Praetorian weapons in Praetorian armor. I had a little trouble with my trigger-happy colleagues. We eventually got far enough into town that we spotted Brutus Maximus himself. We were hit with a couple of vicious counter-attacks however, and were scattered. I was killed one last time (the 9th). By that time, there were only a few of us left but we were too close to quit. We cornered Brutus twice, only to have him slip away. Finally, we caught him alone and we killed him. I use the term "we" loosely. I SAW him, but, as far as I know, I never actually HIT him. Oh well. Brutus was dead. I was dead dead dead dead dead dead dead dead dead. And dead tired. We gated out and went to bed.
Great night.Great friends.Great quest.Great fun.