The day began as many other spring days in this World of Dreams. It rained, it was sunny, it rained some more, it was sunny some more. Just another day in Paradise, right? Other than repelling invasions of Britain and Minoc by Xanderbaric's "controlled" minions, this day was like many others.
After the controlled minions were dispatched, a group of us were in Britain Bank, chatting about this and that, when Boone uttered an expletive and threw his Dagger. It narrowly missed Scott Myr (interesting that it was aimed at Scott, eh?) when the lovely and talented Ki'Anna Stydoran asked him what upset him so (and how did he miss Scott?). Apparently someone had tried to put a "slippery map" in the Bank and Boone wasn't pleased, so Ki'Anna volunteered to take it off his hands.
After calming Boone down (and retrieving his Dagger, so he could try again), Ki'Anna decoded the map and determined that it led to Serpent's Hold. After the Dagger flew at Scott yet again, Mr. Myr decided he better stop proposing to all the women of WoD and come with us to dig the map up instead. Very wise, Mr. Myr. (One has to wonder if he proposed to Boone, as well...)
The group gathered included Scott, Ki'Anna, Crozius Eisengram, Jon Leir, Edward Tristan and your loyal scribe, Pau Atei. Ki'Anna gated us into Serpent's Hold (one of my favorite towns) and led us to the site of the map.
After Ki'Anna turned down yet another proposal from Scott, she dug up the chest. I volunteered to pop it, knowing full well that Ki'Anna had my back. With trepidation I opened the chest and out poured two of the most hideous hell-spawns ever seen in these parts: pinkies and frantic ostards! (Pinkies are headless ones, not undead and pink in color. Ewwww.) Oh, the humanity! The battle raged on the western edge of Serpent's Hold for what seemed like minutes but might have actually been seconds. When they were all dead, another slippery map was discovered in the chest! Ki'Anna decoded that one, and it led to the Trinsic Swamps.
After we gated in near the area, Ki'Anna led us to the general location. While looking for the exact spot, a deer walked up to the group. After a moment it headed off in a direction, and we of course followed (all except Ki'Anna). The deer snickered then and commented that we would follow anything. Thoroughly abashed, we went back and found Ki'Anna. She had dug up the chest. Switching to my bow, I allowed someone else to pop this one.
I was still a bit shaken by the pinkies and frantic ostards, when we were suddenly surrounded by angry puppies, very annoyed kitties and utter boars! Oh, the humanity! An epic battle ensued north of Trinsic then as we fought against the PETA refugees. Just when you smashed one kitty, a puppy attacked your ankle. When you drop-kicked the puppy, an utter boar made for your shins. It was awful....awfully fun.
In the end, through much kitty, puppy and pig innards, the animals were defeated. Once again we proved that with plate armor and magical weapons, we could defeat common household pets and barnyard animals. We were so proud of ourselves!
Ki'Anna found another slippery map and it led to the forests of Yew, so off we went. Buoyed by our victories over pinkies, bird-like noisy brutes, puppies, kittens and pigs, we felt undefeatable! Undefeatable, I say! (It is interesting to note that only Chaos Guards and not Order Girls were with us–almost like a clique. Hmmm.) Ki’Anna quickly found the spot and one of my fellow Chaos Guards offered to pop the chest. After one of the summoned earth elementals commented that he "had a bad feeling about this," we were suddenly surrounded by reapers and ents! Oh, the humanity! We quickly dispatched the overgrown saplings (*points at his indestructable silver chainsaw of destruction and logging*), and one of the reaper corpses said, "Our bark was worse than our bite." Well duh! We had just defeated dogs, cats and pigs–what did reapers and ents think they could do to us? Another slippery map was found in the chest, and Ki’Anna determined that it led to Wrong, so off we went.
Our confidence overflowing, we sliced and diced the terrathans with ease. (There was one that appeared to have ingested about 2 1/2 pots of coffee, however. It jumped around like a bug on a hot plate, which is kind of gross when you think about it.) Ki’Anna dug up the chest and we took our positions as Scott volunteered to loose the hell spawn on us. One moment all was well, the next we were surrounded by earth eles, water eles and fire eles! Oh, the humanity! They were defeated, and alas, no new slippery map was discovered (but there was a worn.) While looting, Scott’s death cry rang out. What the heck? We headed west to find him dead at the feet of Bathsin the Fire Daemon, who was surrounded by his fire eles! (We later learned that Scott proposed to Bathsin and each of the fire eles. Silly Scott. ) Edward Tristan soon departed the land of the living, and the rest of us ganged up on Bathsin and his "warm-blooded" compatriots. Poor Bathsin must have wondered what he had gotten himself into when he was suddenly attacked by the rest of our group. He fell shortly thereafter, and Scott and Edward were resurrected.
We headed back to Britain to split our loot and tell the tale of our victories over pinkies, frantic ostards, dogs, cats, pigs, reapers, ents, earth eles, fire eles, air eles and Bathsin (we might have left out the dogs, cats and pigs).
Oh, the humanity!
I would have thought after me, he would have learned his lesson... perhaps those fire elementals will make him a little more cautious about proposing. hehe
