theworldofdreams.com

Yesterday I was headed to the woods of Serpent's Hold to dig up some buried treasure when I met a few water elementals. "Lazy treasure hunters didn't clean up their mess again" I thought for a second. I took out the first eles quickly and found Kiross's druid staff. "Kiross! Let your soul rest in peace, I WILL AVENGE YOU!"

I plunged ahead into the deluge. It was raining cats and dogs, err, I mean it was raining water elementals and water spouts. A storm of chain lightnings burst over head as I thought "its time to sink or swim." Come hell or high water I would mop the island clean.

I knew Gragus the Green could keep his head above water against mages without raising a sweat, so I let him take downpour of spells on himself while I pumped out a few healing spells. Gragus took out the water eles like fish in a barrel, it was like he had been saving a can of whoop@$$ for a rainy day. We wadded through the waves of attackers to the guard post.

And who should we find there but Mardius the Wet.

"Look, a fish out of water" I said. "You are up **** creek without a paddle." spit Gragus at Mardius. It looked like Mardius had summoned all these wet socks as he and a pool of his bodyguards swept at us like a tsunami. Soon Mardius's pools of blood were draining into the soil with the other puddles.

"He's all washed up now" said Gragus.
"His skills must have slipped" I replied.
"He's just another drop in the ocean now"
"He was slow like a drunk"
"Bet he spent money like water drowning his sorrows"
"He couldn't go with the flow"
"That drip was all wet"

Mardius had a nice loot drop though. My mouth watered as pulled up an aquarium deed.

Ack, I can't believe I wrote all this, I'm so ashamed. Maybe my words would be more palatable watered down. Oops, ok no more of that. I wash my hands clean of it. You'll forgive me right? Its all water under the bridge?

deleted

Entirely too "punny"! I laughed all the way through.

The flow of words was liquid smooth, the puns made tears come to my eyes, at first I told myself "O' shun this missive, you post too much as it is." but I couldn't restrain myself, as you can sea.

I feel like I either have a distant cousin, or I'm the butt of some witty joke. Either way, it's very clever. I love the bit about the wet socks!

-M

yeah I was wondering if you guys were related, similiar name and all. Oh well, take it up with the Seers not me.

My agent just got back to me. He said the Seers wanted to do an epic quest, with a masterful villian, dramatic lighting and all that, but my usual fee of ten million gold was approximately ten million times more than they had to spend, so they did the whole thing with some non-britannian speaking water elemental immigrants, and the whole thing ended in a puddle of poorly-directed mud.

That has to be the longest sentence ever.

-M

Marius the Black wrote:My agent just got back to me. He said the Seers wanted to do an epic quest, with a masterful villian, dramatic lighting and all that, but my usual fee of ten million gold was approximately ten million times more than they had to spend, so they did the whole thing with some non-britannian speaking water elemental immigrants, and the whole thing ended in a puddle of poorly-directed mud.

That has to be the longest sentence ever.

-M

Probably.

Marius the Black wrote:That has to be the longest sentence ever.

Ever read the first paragraph of The Scarlet Letter? I'm not sure quite how long it is, but it is one sentence. Who knows, yours might have been longer.

Great. Now I have sentence envy.

*feels inadequate*

-M