I must say, I am deeply troubled by the presence of youth gangs here in WoD, namely, the "Mall Ratz"!
Why just tonight, as I was having a pleasent trot through Moonglow, by the mall - up popped a Mall Rat, sporting quite the attitude and obviously looking to stir up a spot-o-trouble!
Now while I'm not one to go around cutting up someone else's kid, I decided I'd humor the boy and go a few rounds with him, blade-to-blade... just to teach him a thing or two about respect for his elders.
And it started off fine - We'd each land a few blows here and there, nothing too critical... I didn't want to kill the boy after all! But then, while bashing a bit on his skull and laughing at his general "Too cool for you" demeanor, I noticed... it!
This was not your average attention-deprived youth lashing out in a fit of angst... this boy just didn't give a crap! ...this boy didn't think twice! And on top of also totally flipping out and getting totally pissed, THIS BOY WAS A FULL-BLOWN MAMMAL!
... ... ...
I gasped... and I fell. My head sent rolling arcoss the grassy field on which my body still stood.
This kid was boarderline ninja, exhibiting many traits which were previously only found amongst the ninja brood. Obviously he had devloped this skill from the years worth of time he had spend at the mall. Playing ninja games at the arcade, running from the mall cops, eating over-priced, under-cooked food, and undoubtedly spending countless hours griefing on the free UO shards whenever he couldn't be at the mall ....all this crafted him to become what he was, a mammal! And a mean one at that!
And as my death cry rang out, I was happily assulted by a number of messages, asking if I needed help. Amongst the flury of messages, I was able to get word out to Tony Van Gothe, the brother of a quite powerful necromancer, Andy, and asked him to send Andy to help me recover my gear. (Sorry to those of you who asked if I needed help but got no reply... just far too many messages to anwser!)
I also anwsered the message of a fine WoD'er by the name of Caramon (who also saved my be-hind from a meanie 'Shadowpack leader' later that night). I anwsered saying I had been slain by a "Mall Rat", on moonglow. It wasn't long until our little group had assembled, and I had been raised.
I walked over to my gear and started gathering it together while the other two ran about, quickly discovering that quite a fair number of Mall Ratz (humans, mind you) had taken control of the whole mall area! After running up to the bank and getting myself back together, Andy returned baring a note he had found on a Mall Rat, written in an odd - almost english, language.
The note read:
H311O
If ur readin th1s u
mu$t b3 d3ad lol. U
b3ttAr leav3 thiz mall
2 us. Our mall now foo
uv b33n pwned.
~L33T Mall Ratz
Fortunatly, I had spent a few months with the native L33T peoples of OSI, and had a basic understanding of this "L33t" dialect of english.
Here's my rough translation:
Hello
If you are reading this you
must be dead (laughs out loud).
You better leave this mall to us.
[It is] our mall now (fool?)
You have been owned.
~Cool Mall rats
So, fed up with such attitudes, Andy and I went back down to clean these kids' clocks! Which we quickly commenced in doing! One after another they were felled, their arcade money soon lined OUR pockets! And just then, as it seemed like this would be an easy clean-up job, at least one Mall Rat seemed to spring from every one of the mall's shops, and the tide of the battle quickly started to turn. But, as it were, fate smiled upon us.
We were quickly met once again by Caramon, who rode in like a sweet wind of salvation, greatly easing our part in the battle which was at hand. In what seemed like no time at all, the mall, and the surrounding area, was completely cleansed of every last one of those troublesome youth.
After it was over, we walked to the bank, did a split, and went our ways.
So, parents, I encourage you to go hug your children and let them know that the way of the ninja is best left to those that are born as ninjas. Period.
Supervision is also key. Letting young kids run off to the mall without adult supervision will, undoubtedly, lead to thoughts of being a ninja. And we all know where that leads... to being a mammal!
Thank you.
~Christian *oh so sleepy* Belmont
Now everyone must go see the movie Mallrats! (excluding small children) 
I am pretty well used to dying on a regularly scheduled basis.
