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Just outside Yew prison, a guard coming off duty looks around nervously. He sees a short, hooded figure crouching in the shadows of a nearby tree and walks toward it, trying to look casual and hide his apprehension. When he is alongside the figure he receives a bag that clinks quietly and passes over this letter in return. The guard hurries away in one direction, while the hooded figure leaps out of sight into the bushes with surprising agility.

The letter is written on coarse, inexpensive writing paper. Here and there the writing is obscured by smears of some disgusting and (thankfully) unidentified organic substance which makes portions difficult to read. The smears are like a written version of mumbling.

Honorable Mr. Hopper, Esq.
Cotton, Hopper and Burrows, Attys at Law

*smear* Sir,
I cannot express my *smear* for the *smear* quality and unrequested “pro bonoâ€