theworldofdreams.com

As a former very vocal person on these forums I've seen some disturbing trends over the past couple of months, the biggest of which is the amount of people leaving the shard/playing much less because of the way these threads have degraded into insult sessions and hateful remarks. When I first started posting here there were almost no instances of the disrespectful crap. After I got a little more vocal about changes and what not I was called a "whiner." A term which high school kids use to try and keep the people they pick on from being vocal. I decided the heck with it and quit posting on the "contoversial" topic threads, though I still read. I was and am much happier for it because that kind of stress is not needed in life.

Something disturbing started to happen. More people started voicing an opinion opposite to the established "way things are done" and were also called "whiners," but they were also told to "get the hell out." This lead to people on both sides of the arguement to start leaving the shard or playing much less than they used to.

People on BOTH sides of this "war" think they know the best way to communicate and proclaim if you don't do it this way you aren't conversing like an adult. I have news for you all. There are very few on these forums that know how to communicate effectively.

In 1999 I graduated with a Bachelor's Degree in Communications with a 3.5 GPA. Part of the job I currently hold is in the area of conflict resolution. I am a video editor but I work closely with Human Resources and management when conflicts arise between 2 or more employees. (I figured I would throw that out just in case someone decided to say that I didn't know what I was talking about.)

It's even harder to try and communicate effectively within the electronic print environment like we are in. You do not get inflection of voice, facial expressions or hand gestures from reading a forum post. You have to try and decipher what the person means from the written word only. Most of the time it is interpreted by the other person wrong. Analyzing every little word of a post or taking one phrase and using it as the basis for the meaning of the entire post are bad ways to decipher tone and meaning.

What tools do we have to work with? Well we have emoticons for one which only work so far. The only sure fire way to figure out what someone means from a post is this:

Ask them to clarify. If you still don't understand, ask them again until you do.

I'm sick of this "war" and I'm sure you all are too. I hate seeing people leave over petty crap that could have been avoided no matter what side you are on. Yes there are jerks out there that will never listen to anything other than their opinion but there is only one way to deal with them. Ignore them. Let them make an ass of themselves and hope they will go away. If they don't, it's not a big deal. Just let them live in their world. You live in the real one. Also, if you have a personal gripe with someone, DO NOT air it out in public. This is what the PM function is for.

This is what it all comes down to, my friends. Yes spats happen but above all else, try to be nice to one another. I can't stress enough how this is meant for everyone, not just who I have argued against in the past.

I propose this. Let's bury the hatchet and start anew. Everyone. Lets go clean slate here people and start activly trying to be nice to others, especially the people that tick you off the most.

I will start-

*Buries the hatchet*

All who wish for a better toned forum and for WoD to be the best that it can be, I beseech you, please do the same.

(I apologize for any spelling errors and the long- winded post.)

Bravo, Orion. A clearly stated and well thought out post that makes a hell of a lot of sense. I sincerely second your idea.

I'm fully for the idea, but apathy stays my hand because it seems like an uphill struggle. Repeatedly, WoD has shown that for better or for worse, it refuses to change without the greatest of efforts, and then only by *extreme* neccessity. And even this change is harped upon.

To propose this is to propose an entire shift in culture, which will require a unanimous support, because just like any ideal, it will be either embraced and supported, or ultimately forgotten.

Still, I've always thought of myself as having posted well, more often than not (I've made mistakes, I don't deny that) and always remained almost impartial.

So I'll agree to the terms, even if I don't believe they'll work.

-M

Marius-

We've ALL made mistakes. We're only human.

I understand that this is a huge culture shift and that it's chances for succeeding are slim. All the more reason for us to try.

Well Said. *Buries the Hatchet* I for one can honestly say I have done my share of arguing and have taken part of this "war" many times. Your post really hit me where I needed to be hit. I completely Agree and I would like to say I am truely sorry to those I have offended and argued with and also to everyone on the shard and these forums. I truely did not always present myself how I should have and I hope you will forgive me. I hope everyone reads this post and really lets the words sink in. Hail Orion, Well done

Love Elwen

*Thinks Realy hard and tries to bring the good rainbow* hehe Sorry Orion, I had to.
In All seriousness though brother, Bravo! It is good to see that even after all this time you still have the love for the shard that you had when we both were given our accounts. I for one am also humbled by Orions post, And agree that it is time for a change on these boards.


Sincerly
A.D.

Extremely good point made Orion. I only hope the other one hundred thirty some odd people will feel the same way. Although I havent complained much I am still "Burying the hatchet" and I hope everyone else will too.

Herakles

Orion Michaels wrote:As a former very vocal person on these forums I've seen some disturbing trends over the past couple of months, the biggest of which is the amount of people leaving the shard/playing much less because of the way these threads have degraded into insult sessions and hateful remarks.

Yo MAMA!!!!


And just where do you plan on burying that hatchet?

hehehe...

sorry Orion, couldn't help it. I'll leave now!! *waves*

*burries the hatchet*

Well i dont have a hatchet to bury...im a wizard

Kudos to Orion for wanting to create a Wod like enviroment on the forum, but lets face it, sweetie...its not gonna happen.

Forum- a place for open discussion, a place where people can come and express their opinions in their own words.

We all come from different places with different views there is always gonna be controversy.
Does this mean that we can't do that in a well thought-out and organized fashion with everyones feelings being taken into consideration?

ummm...probably not

I dont subscribe to the "flame threads" myself.. but i always read them and i usually learn a lot about the people who make up our cherished WOD. Here on the forum others get a chance to meet the people behind the people. Whether you are just stating your opinion or inciting a flame it says a lot about you and in some small way helps us to know each other a little more..but not always in a positive way.

Ingame we dont have that...most people are playing a character, a role that developes as time goes by.

I dont like the fact that people are leaving over what is said in these forums, at all. I dont like it that people cant express themselves in a constructive manner...but people are aloud to express themselves however they choose but in that freedom they must pay the consequences for their actions.

I guess what im trying to say is: without conflict there would be no progress...whether we like it or not.

I'm not saying that there shouldn't be conflict. Just don't let it degrade into an insult session/flame war.

Progress comes after conflict, it's called resolution. Resolution only comes by a will to end the conflict. Ergo, "Progress" - as you define it - is halted by conflict.

With progress there is always conflict...so the 2 go hand in hand, but yes only after the conflict is resolved is there progress. How many times have you seen resolution on these forums?

less often than i would have liked actually. all too often it's the peace of exhaustion or the action of the admins that closes down the contentious threads.

I wrote:Resolution only comes by a will to end the conflict.

External sources can be assumed to be included in that. Resolution does not have to be satisfactory, just or even apparent; but by nature of argument, "progress" only occurs after conflict is resolved.

Or arbitrated.

-M